How It Happened - by Eric the Groom
It came and went in a flash. Maybe a few thousand flashes as friends and photographers snapped away with my sweetheart Sara and I in front of the lens on our wedding day.
The story began years and years before August 19th of last year. For as much journaling I had kept up in those times I didn't record the date I met Sara. It was an unassuming day outside my high school, by the old stone barbecue that was part of the yard along the parking lot. Of all people, my mom introduced us. Actually she prodded me to go talk to Sara about her missionary travels in Africa. She had short hair and a smile that made me one nervous guy. I don't even remember much more than learning she was away in Kenya for 6 months and her blue eyes were radiant in the sunshine.
We crossed paths regularly as we both volunteered in our church's youth department. I helped behind the scenes and with the audio for the weekly meetings and Sara was among the singers each Thursday night. Sara became good friends with my sisters before she and I really hit it off. She took my youngest sis out to the mall for girl time and came over to gab and visit afterwards. Sara was part of an overland trip down the eastern African costal countries that my other sis went on the same year. My folks even invited Sara to some family get-togethers in the summer. I didn't think much of it and neither did she - we were friends and could laugh about whatever came to mind.
Since high school I wasn't home in Indiana much more than 6 months at a time before I was out to another international adventure or two. My passport filled with stamps quickly as I visited countries in Southeast Asia, Central America, and Northern Europe. I remember while on my last international trip in Thailand in 2002 I got a short email from Sara to say hi and encourage me. It was good to hear from a fellow traveler from back home.
When I returned home it wasn't long before I ran into Sara again at the youth meetings and gatherings of mutual friends. We talked a little about our individual trips that last summer and planned to meet up and watch her video tapes from her latest overland Africa trip. I had stacks of photographs of the children, friends, and places I fell in love with in Thailand.
While watching Sara show a picture book to a group of smiling children... something clicked. I had spent 6 months teaching and working with HIV+ kids in Thailand and they instantly became my family for half a year. I saw Sara just light up remembering her times abroad sharing hugs, meals, and the Good News of our faith with the children she met. Something sparked that night as we shared stories and smiles.
I asked Sara out after her political science class hosted the county sheriff and prosecutor debate for the coming election day. We had spent long phone calls and long talks in person since we met up to trade travel stories, and we enjoyed being around each other.
I could go on and on about the memories along the way, but the more I write the more I remember and the more there is to read. I do remember early on in our courtship Sara said to me that it's funny to see that "we've traveled around the world and found that the person we were looking for was just down the road all along."
When I began to pack up to move out I came across countless gifts, cards, and photos that each had a story behind them. Our apartment doesn't have room for them all! Photos around our new home help to tell the little stories of how we began to see we had found who we were looking for.
December 20, 2005 - the winter and the finals schedule was starting to get to us and we'd been so busy or exhausted we hadn't caught up in what felt like months. It wasn't more than a few days at most, because a few months earlier we were looking at engagement rings. I told only a few friends - and I think most were out of state - that I had actually bought the ring in October and kept it a secret. I talked to her dad while I was over fixing up some computer issues, and got his blessing. He, in turn, got lifetime tech support in addition to a son-in-law. I knew that he knew it too.
I called Sara and we arranged to meet up in half an hour to have dinner at our favorite Thai restaurant downtown - Siam Thai. She wasn't feeling well but we hadn't seen each other in a few days and we both had an appetite for Thai curry. I knew I wanted to ask her that night. I got my sis Ali to get me a small aspirin bottle, and I put Sara's ring in it. First off if Sara saw a ring box she'd know and secondly, I could tell her I brought her something to make her feel better. On that busy evening we were seated right next to the register. Every time I looked up at Sara I had 1 to 3 servers looking back at me. Now my appetite was surpassed by sheer nervousness.
On that cold winter evening we talked little and ate less still. She was still sick and I was too nervous to enjoy the meal much. We got up to go and she mentioned she was heading home to rest. I told her I brought something to help her feel better and showed her the aspirin bottle, but she pulled away and scurried around the corner to her car to stay warm. I followed her knowing I wasn't wanting to take the ring home. I hopped in and asked if she'd like to go for a walk on the downtown streets with all the shining Christmas lights and just take it easy. She preferred to drive. So we drove a little. Until her new favorite song came on - Coldplay's the Scientist. A very melancholy song played loudly with a chorus that was anything but the impression I was hoping to make on her:
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard...
She played it again. I wasn't sure if she was trying to tell me something but I knew I wanted to tell her my news before anything could change. We circled the block by some historic theaters and got back to my car. She pulled over to let me out and I warmed up my car. She thwarted me at dinner, declined a walk to reminisce, and there was no quiet to talk in the car. To know Sara is to know spontaneity. I knew an elaborate proposal would not go according to *my* plan so I decided to go with the flow and ask her when the opportunity arrived. If no opportunity presented itself I was determined to make one appear. This was its appearing.
I came up to her driver's side car window to say good night. I got out the aspirin bottle to tell her I had something she needed to have before I left. "It will make you feel better but you shouldn't take it if your headache is sensitive to light - it may bother you." She was beyond curious to know what I was up to as I shook the bottle but nothing came out. It was stuck inside! After a few nervous shakes I got it out and asked Sara to marry me. She replied happily, "What do you think!" (I asked her for a yes or no, and got the yes!)
The rest leading up to our August wedding came and went so fast. We had our ceremony alongside an old country brick schoolhouse where artist friends of ours were married and live. Everything felt like it was in fast-forward until, standing under green trees at the altar, I caught a glimpse of her in her wedding gown. Then, in that instant, the clocks all stopped simultaneously as all I could do was hold the breath I had drawn and watch as she walked toward me. It was really happening, MY wedding day - OUR wedding day!
I love you Sara Rashelle!